I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
