Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
