He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
