just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
