Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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