Me too!
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
