Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
