This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
