You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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