i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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