At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
