Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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