i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
