all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
