Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
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