I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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