It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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