i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
