yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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