You're so nebulous sometimes
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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