YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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