Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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