I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
love makes seman taste better
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
