WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
