Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
