I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
