Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
