someone threw a dead crab at me
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
