Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
