Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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