So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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