About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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