babies were throwing up all over the place
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
There r osticjed everywhere
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
