somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
