i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I intend to get homeless drunk
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
