No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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