you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
