Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
