bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
