doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
