Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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