I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
