I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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