she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
