After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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