so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
