Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
