Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
