You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Fuck appropriateness.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
