Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
