i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
