Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Randomize
