Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
