Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
