3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
